top of page

Confidentiality Between Spouses: A Cautionary Tale

In the world of real estate, professionals often find themselves privy to some of the most intimate details of their clients' lives.

From financial situations to personal relationships, the information shared can be sensitive and deeply private. A recent incident shared in the Charlotte Area Realtors Only Facebook Group serves as a stark reminder of the importance of maintaining confidentiality, even when clients are closely related.

A Lesson Learned the Hard Way

The story goes like this: An agent was representing a married couple, on the brink of closing a deal. However, a hiccup arose when underwriting discovered a non-disclosed child support payment from the husband. This was a manageable issue, necessitating only an extension. But the real problem emerged when the agent, in an attempt to explain the need for an extension, inadvertently disclosed the existence of the child and the child support payment to the wife, who was completely unaware of both.

This incident underscores a crucial point: In real estate, as in many professions, confidentiality is not just a courtesy; it's an obligation. Even when representing a married couple, it's essential to remember that they are two distinct individuals with separate rights to privacy. Disclosing confidential information about one client to another, even if they are spouses, is a breach of that trust.

The Cost of a Slip

The repercussions for the agent in question were immediate and severe. Not only did they likely lose the trust of both clients and the deal, but they also now face potential legal action. The damage to their reputation could be long-lasting, serving as a warning to others in the industry.

The Golden Rule of Confidentiality

The incident brings to mind an old adage often shared among brokers: "He who speaks first loses." While communication is a cornerstone of effective real estate transactions, knowing when to remain silent is equally crucial. A good communicator understands the weight of their words and the importance of discretion.

For real estate professionals, this story serves as a potent reminder of the responsibilities they bear. Clients entrust agents with their dreams, their finances, and often, their secrets. It's a trust that should never be taken lightly.

Confidentiality is more than just a professional standard; it's a commitment to respecting and protecting the personal lives of clients. Whether dealing with spouses, family members, or unrelated individuals, the principle remains the same: Every client's information is sacred and should be treated as such. As real estate professionals, it's our duty to uphold this trust, ensuring that our clients' private lives remain just that – private.

Have you ever been put in a difficult position between your clients? Share in the comments below or with a colleague in an upcoming CE class!


Trotter, D. (2023, September 7). I just learned a powerful lesson through the misfortune... [Facebook update]. Facebook.

577 views0 comments


bottom of page